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When Your Heart Longs for More

After a week of being exhausted and feeling unloved, I can attest that nothing makes a person feel more loved when the love of your life speaks YOUR love language. I have had a week, where the enemy wanted to tell me I was unlovable, but GOD wanted me to know HIS LOVE was complete for me. GOD's love is all I need. (Ephesians 3:16-19  I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.)

Now with that being said, my husband loves me completely. BUT his main love language is Acts of Service. And while someone doing chores for me and working hard is a beautiful thing, in order to feel loved this week, I really needed and wanted his quality time and words of affirmation, telling me he valued me. He diligently works on projects around the house, while I, in my exhaustion sat back felt neglected, ignored and quite possibly a little hormonal and needy. (I know, other women who would kill for a husband with the primary love language, Acts of Service - so why am I grumbling, RIGHT?)

The order of my Love Languages goes like this: (the top 3 rotate from moment to moment, as do the bottom 2 - but Acts of Service normally stays on the bottom)
Quality Time
Words of Affirmation
Physical Touch and Closeness
Gift Giving
Acts of Service
In my heart, I muttered to myself how unlovable I was and believed it. Those were the voices in my head and have a history of repeating themselves over many years.of repetition, life experiences and past abuse.  You know, those mistakes I made, wrong words that I have said and experiences with people where I may have hurt them out of my foolishness and own hurt to defend myself. To me, this confirmed I was unlovable, every time I replayed them in my head.

Despite all of that, in my quiet moments with GOD, He was telling me I was valuable and that HE (GOD) should be sufficient for me. 2 Corinthians 12:9, But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Yet reading that and meditating on it, my heart still longed for the things of this world - my husband. I wanted Adam to confirm I was LOVABLE and valued. Yet, he ws busy working away on his latest project he felt an urgency to do. He was loving me the way he knew how...

Through the study of Uninvited, with Proverbs 31 Ministries, I continued to meditate upon Matthew 6:26, Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

We walked through the week, moment by moment, going to work, making dinner, homeschooling the kids and doing our normal routine. On Friday morning, I asked my husband, should we do a family night with the kids, no electronics or shall we go on a date? TO my hearts delight, he said, "just us." My heart sang and I looked forward to it, yet I still grumbled throughout the day that I was not getting my emotional needs filled. (I am so short sighted focusing on my personal belief system and continue to seek man to fulfill me.) Note to self: Write God's Word in BIG, BOLD letters and post where I see it nearly EVERY moment I am awake and speak the TRUTH aloud!

Our evening was wonderful. We had a great talk, face to face - NO ELECTRONICS and a wonderful, fattening meal at Red Lobster. Adam loves me so much, he even cracked my crab legs for me. I love the way the taste, but the cracking of the shells and the feel of it, make my skin crawl. True love cracks your crab legs... In this moment, right now, God reminds me that Adam's love language Acts of service - is something I need to be thankful for - because there is NO WAY my quality time and words of affirmation love language would have done something like that.
God showed me AGAIN that HIS grace is sufficient for me and that I need to keep my eyes and heart steadfast on HIM. Lord, forgive me for my shortsightedness and looking to my husband to help me feel loved. I am made in God's image and need to continually keep God's never ending, steadfast love in front of me. It might not "look" like I want it too in each moment of my day, but I need to have faith that it is there continuously. His love for me reaches as far as the east is from the west.

In my reading this morning, I came across this quote, "Relationships don’t come in packages of perfection; relationships come in packages of potential. And wrapped between the wonderful and the work are inevitable times of imperfection and possible rejection.” Lysa Terkeurst

Thank you for stopping by today. I hope you are able to find the fullness of God's Love in your life. Would love to hear what you think in the comments below.
Chrissy D